Sadly The Story Stays The Same: The Harrowing Ordeal Of Being A Woman With An Opinion…

Sadly The Story Stays The Same: The Harrowing Ordeal Of Being A Woman With An Opinion Online

I’ve talked about this before, and shared this sort of thing before, and I’ll keep doing it again and again. People deserve to have their opinions discussed online without their gender being brought into it or having it frame the conversation.

I’m guilt of failing that this week; not that I used sexist language that I failed to comment when someone else did.
It was the aftermath of the pepper spraying and commentator Megyn Kelly used the “It’s a vegetable, essentially!” comment. A woman busted out the C word in reference to her in the comments, and I almost corrected her on using that term; but I didn’t. I didn’t feel it was my place as a man to correct a woman on sexist language usage. To tell her it was unacceptable. I felt I would be an interloper, I would be Mansplaining. How could I a Man have any notion of what was or wasn’t acceptable, and think I could lecture a Woman on appropriate language? So I shut my mouth, deleted the post without sending and I let it slide. Realizing it was wrong, letting it lower the discourse, and yet still I didn’t do anything.

Ms. Kelly’s opinions on topic A or B didn’t matter in that moment, to just resort to gender-based personal attack insults make us all the worse. I was wrong that day, and for that I’m sorry. I should have said something.

Reshared post from +Navi G.

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/laurie-penny-a-womans-opinion-is-the-miniskirt-of-the-internet-6256946.html “For criticising neo-liberal economic policymaking, it was suggested I should be made to fellate a row of bankers”

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Laurie Penny: A woman’s opinion is the mini-skirt of the internet

You come to expect it, as a woman writer, particularly if you’re political. You come to expect the vitriol, the insults, the death threats. After a while, the emails and tweets and comments containing…

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  • https://plus.google.com/108327528694186466225 Amanda Zuke

    I remember talking with you about that situation — as both your friend and a woman, I was really touched by your desire to intervene, and wasn't quite sure what to say when you decided not to. Ultimately, I think we're all responsible for creating pockets of safe space, even if they're tiny and we carry them wherever we go.

  • https://plus.google.com/108327528694186466225 Amanda Zuke

    I remember talking with you about that situation — as both your friend and a woman, I was really touched by your desire to intervene, and wasn't quite sure what to say when you decided not to. Ultimately, I think we're all responsible for creating pockets of safe space, even if they're tiny and we carry them wherever we go.

  • https://plus.google.com/110185190485579868167 Christopher Erickson

    The crux of it is, as a man, speaking from a place of Privilege, do I have the right to speak to another and chide them when they say something offensive, or would that just be another example of my unconsciously flexing my own Privilege and by effect marginalizing and silencing them?

  • https://plus.google.com/110185190485579868167 Christopher Erickson

    The crux of it is, as a man, speaking from a place of Privilege, do I have the right to speak to another and chide them when they say something offensive, or would that just be another example of my unconsciously flexing my own Privilege and by effect marginalizing and silencing them?

  • https://plus.google.com/108327528694186466225 Amanda Zuke

    My mind is on my own writing today, so instead, I'm going to link-and-quote you.

    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/08/crank-it-up-to-11.html

    Quoth Liss: Often the most important thing an ally can do is just be willing to stand in front of a friend and take a few arrows in the armor made thicker by degrees of distance, to give the priceless gift of: "I got this one."

  • https://plus.google.com/108327528694186466225 Amanda Zuke

    My mind is on my own writing today, so instead, I'm going to link-and-quote you.

    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/08/crank-it-up-to-11.html

    Quoth Liss: Often the most important thing an ally can do is just be willing to stand in front of a friend and take a few arrows in the armor made thicker by degrees of distance, to give the priceless gift of: "I got this one."